Lonely is the Hardest

Look out the window at the crowded streets below
Seems everybody has someplace to go.
Look in the mirror with far away eyes
Cry in silence at a wasted life.
Do you believe when I tell you
That lonely is the hardest.
Do you believe when I tell you
That lonely is the hardest state of all.
Suzi Quatro ‘Lonely is the Hardest’


Photo by Kristina Tripkovic on Unsplash

Well, today is my 59th birthday and like pretty much every day of the year I’m spending it alone.

Since losing my parents in 2008 I lost what little contact I had with my aunts, uncles, and cousins – they never really bothered with me before then anyway. I was always the black sheep of the family.

As for friends? Well, I lost a lot of the fair-weather type friends when I lost my job in 2013 following my heart attack. I still see them around the area but they never bother to speak.

Other friends drifted away when my health — both physical and mental — started to decline. I’ve made new friends through my voluntary work but they mostly live a couple of hundred miles away so socializing is difficult 😔. The few that live closer involve a train journey costing £15 return, which having to survive on the pittance paid by ESA benefit is a lot of money!

For people in the 35 – 60 age range there is very little provision for combatting loneliness and isolation. Everything seems to be aimed at those 65+.

So, yet again I’ll be spending my birthday alone. As indeed I spend my life. The only social interaction I’ve had this month is 90 minutes talking with fellow volunteers at a group 50 miles from my home. So yeah, I’m feeling down on what should be a happy day.

7 thoughts on “Lonely is the Hardest

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  1. You can talk to anyone about lots of things! You can listen to others with huge compassion. You can add a voice to a campaign for those more timid! You can share learning, your interests and observations too… I’d suggest reframing loneliness in your thoughts… try ‘who could I connect with today’ and lead into conversations about things that are easier to talk about… drop any labels you believe to be true about yourself and put that charm and wit to good use! Baby steps, passing time of day with 10 people, then sitting and sharing a table in a cafe (M&S- has lots of singles sat at tables, I get some lovely conversations there most times I go in! You are an awesome volunteer too! So much to give and each time you do, you choose more connected! Online friendships can work too! Phone people for a chat! I’m seeing the words on loneliness and wishing they were about connecting instead… what we think about we get! With much friendship J 🙂

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    1. Yes, thank you I am. I’m trying to be more positive – not always succeeding. Trying to get the Kindness Collective going – a group i’m trying to set up to be a resource for people into doing RAOK, combatting loneliness, promoting Social Change etc. Trying to signpost various groups/individuals as well as doing things by the Collective.

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    1. Sadly the day didn’t improve. I decided to go to my local CIU Social Club to treat myself to a couple of beers. Spent the evening alone and also got abused by a couple of numptys in the bar. Ah well, such is life 🙂

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